Conversations with myself

Do you converse with yourself? I do, my mind has word vomit, a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

Here is a little peek into my mind conversations

Me to me “I want to write about how to get a celeb to tweet you, this will probably be so insignificant to so many people but maybe some will enjoy it, I know I definitely will”

Me back to me “I think I will tweet about my intention to write this blog post, maybe some celeb will see it and tweet me so that I can do the post”

My reply: “I would REALLY like that celeb to be Lena Dunham so I will tweet her again (for the millionth time this week) and ask her to tweet me so that I can write the post. I mean surely she has to see one of my tweets eventually and MAYBE she will reply.”

Me back to me “she has millions of followers what are the chances, I am doomed”

Me to me “Ha, I could just write a blog post on how to get a celeb to tweet you and in the body say something stupid like I don’t know or I wish I knew, that would be kinda funny”

I think I will just wait for an actual tweet from a celeb (Maybe Lena) so that I can screenshot it and include it in my post, that will be the coolest blog post ever!”

“I am so hungry, I have Jelly Tots, maybe I should just have those to see me through until lunch time. I could tweet about eating Jelly Tots at 10am. Ah nah”

What am I going to make for supper”

“I haven’t done a fashion post in a while, I better get on that”

“This blog post I am currently writing about conversations with myself is weird, oh well. Publish”

Finances in your twenties

If you are anything like me your finances are in a mess. You are trying to recover from the debt mistakes you have/or are currently making (Retail accounts, guilty!). You are still trying to differentiate between a need and a want. There are so many things you want/need to do, i.e. travel, buy cars, stop renting and start paying your own bond, save for the future, etc.

I have really learnt the hard way. I went from being very wise and careful with my money to spending like a mad woman who had millions to spend but only had limited time do it. I could never have enough, I always wanted more. This sort of makes me greedy right? But I am not a bad person and to describe myself as greedy makes me feel like a bad person.

Confessions of a Shopaholic was basically my life story except I already have the guy and none of my stuff is designer. I use the term “was” very loosely because I am still recovering. I am still learning to say no, I am still trying to stop myself from even looking at online shops (it always leads to a spend).

I look to the future and get scared because I don’t have a savings and I hope that I will one day be able to walk into a shop and buy what I need and perhaps the odd want, rather than sacrificing what I need for what I want.

Also, being a relatively new home renter, I am still learning the ropes of having to remember to buy black bags (I always forget) or to have money aside for when something needs replacing like a light bulb. A light bulb versus a pair of sunglasses from the dude on the side of the road? I don’t get to make that decision anymore because I am a grown up.

More attention should be paid to the importance of savings in school, there should always be financial advise in place for young adults because it isn’t easy (not for me anyway). We all want a good life and sometimes that want is way too costly in more ways than just rands.

Finances in my twenties so far have been a disaster but I still have five more years of my twenties to turn it around, but for now, here are some tips for in case you are in the same boat as me (well more like a canoe because who can afford a boat?)

- Learn to differentiate between a need and a want.
– Stop living to your means! If you get an increase at work or you do something extra on the side to earn extra cash, don’t raise your way of life to match. Save it!
– Stay away from debt. The only debt you should have is a car, your bond and a cellphone contract.
– If you love fashion, invest in closet staples that are of a good quality and then incorporate trends cheaply (Mr P or Jet, they are pretty on top of the trends)
– Stop worrying about show and tell. Believe me people will like your expensive shoes on Instagram and then forget about them so don’t get yourself into debt or spend more than you should for what people will think of you.
– Thrift and DIY – self explanatory.
– Find hobbies (mine are reading and watching series) so that you don’t always have to be out and about to keep yourself occupied.
– Surround yourself with people who understand and don’t get upset when you can’t go to that cool restaurant that costs and arm and a leg because you literally cannot afford it.
– Never impulse buy.
– Don’t buy unless you love it.
– Book lovers – library!
– Make a budget and stick to it no matter what
– If you have any debt work on getting that settled NOW instead of anything
– With Christmas coming up, search Pinterest for gift and DIY ideas (I have found some really cute ones for the girls at work and the girls in my lift club already, it will cost about R20 for all of them)
– Don’t holiday/eat out if you are even a little bit worried about money for the rest of the month.
– Shop around for cheaper options whether it be food, toiletries, household goods, fashion, anything.

https://thenewcinderellastyle.files.wordpress.com
https://thenewcinderellastyle.files.wordpress.com

These are just a few of the tips and rules I am trying to stick to and I hope that my story can help you. Our twenties are about living and learning so don’t be too hard on yourself but do make the necessary changes.

On wedding pressure

So we have set our date (after being engaged for quite some time) and the planning has started but for a time it was more stressful than anything else because as we all know the minute the word wedding is added there is an upcharge of 100%.

I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted and after getting numerous quotes, looking around, spending hours on the net in the search of the perfect everything, I have done a complete 180. Why? because I didn’t enjoy one bit of it, every quote I got I was disappointing because it was beyond my budget, every venue I found which was so close to what I envisioned was going to cost me an arm and a leg and I need those for my wedding day so nah!

We don’t have a budget because we are still saving, how much will we have saved by 2 May 2015? I don’t know because we save whatever we can.

What was supposed to be a happy time had turned into a nightmare and I was ready to go to court if I am honest so something had to change and it did. I looked at my fiancé one night and thought to myself that there is no way I could have a bad day if I am by his side, there is no way I am going to care about what other people are saying when I am having the best time of my life and celebrating my new start as a Mrs.

So let’s talk about the 180 I did;

Firstly, I am a future thinker and more of a quantity than quality kinda gal so the thought of spending thousands and thousands of rands on ONE day made me feel sick to my stomach. R50K? That could buy me a car! R20K that could buy me the most amazing baby stuff (for when the baby comes) so I was doomed from the beginning because as much as I wanted the “perfect wedding” I just wasn’t willing to spend to get it.

Secondly, the fiancé and I are the most chilled couple, we are not the photo type (don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a selfie but am not the best in front of the camera with someone else behind the lens) we are also not flashy and are more than happy if we have some good snacks and a movie so would the “perfect wedding” be a representation of us and who we are? Or would it just be for show and to impress the attendees of the wedding.

Speaking of the attendees, I was actually thinking of them the whole time, of course I would because they are all loved ones but I was thinking about them a bit too much. Naturally, I wanted to impress and I wanted everyone to comment about how beautiful my wedding was but I wasn’t willing to pay top dollar just for them to say good things about my wedding and then forget about it in a week.

Who is the day actually for? And what is it all about? I had to remind myself of this over and over again because really the day is for us to come together, a celebration of our love and our new start and there I was thinking about everyone else.

In conclusion we have decided to go for a simple, small, chilled, super budget wedding suitable to us as a couple.

I have had a lot of the “won’t you regret it if you don’t do this or that” questions thrown at me and it really is a stupid thing to ask because how will I ever regret the day I marry my soul mate? I will be happy regardless of whether I have a professional cake made or a home made one! I will have the best time whether it is at some over priced venue or at home.

The meaning of a wedding has changed which just brings with it so much pressure and I am so thankful that I got off that wedding horse and carriage and have thought back to basics – basics being that it is a day to celebrate love and for two to join with their loved ones supporting them.

Watch out because budget bride is on the hunt for bargains.

 

 

Anisa Mpungwe for MRP – All about that print

Mr P is at it again with another killer collab with Anisa Mpungwe.

I can never have enough print in my life and this collection is a full on print party that I must attend. It hits selected stores and the online store this Monday (after payday, hells yeah).

After travelling through Africa Anisa was inspired and I am loving what came out of her trip through our beautiful country.

This is fashion forward, affordable and African inspired fashion at its very best!

I absolutely must have the colourblock mini. Which item/s is your favourite?

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**Images: 10and5.com

Let’s not play pretend

Who is the person behind that screen and keyboard? How real and genuine are those words you are putting out to the world on a daily basis?

Blogging and social media has been on my mind a lot lately and there is so much I want to say about the topics but the first thing that needs to be spoken about is the realness of our little (maybe not so little actually) community. I have had a few discussions with various people about how certain bloggers are not what they appear to be when you meet them in real life.

There are also of course the people in our lives who aren’t bloggers who are also as fake as Renee’s new face (that is my new saying by the way). There is just so much fake stank in this world.

Obviously as your own person and own decision maker you choose how much you want to put out there, you also choose what to put out there, you choose how other people see and know you so I cannot figure out why anyone would hide who they are – it is just so much work!

I know that I am 100% genuine online, at work, in everyday life, are you?

So in the spirit of being real, here are some very real facts about me (those who follow me will probably already know some of these)

- I am an obsessive person, I become obsessed with things (not in a scary or psycho way, I promise)

- I have a lot of fears such as falling in the bath, losing all my teeth, being lonely, and many many more.

- I love Taylor Swift and Lena Dunham and am determined to get a tweet/message/email from both of them.

- I love fashion but a lot of the time I look like I don’t know a thing about fashion because I put on whatever I want to (stop the fashion rules)

- I have an extremely addictive personality

- I do not have my drivers license because a) I am terrified of driving and b) I wasted a lot of money on a driving school which only heightened my fear and I haven’t been able to part with that kind of money again to try and get over my fear

- I suffer with anxiety

- I have a very small group of friends

- I regret my blog name but cannot change it now

- I often doubt my writing abilities because I feel I have a very plain writing style but that doesn’t stop me from doing what I love

- I am in love with cities I have never been to

- I am on a mission to make women feel better about themselves and their bodies

- I love my curves but do feel the need to shed a few kilos to be healthy

- I want to be involved with some sort of plus size campaign

- I grew up extremely poor but wouldn’t change it because it gave me the determination I have today

That’s it for now but why don’t you share some of your real “things” with me?

Woah, stop the rules!

I wrote a post a while ago about wearing what you want and it received some good feedback, this is sort of a follow up post because seeing titles like “Avoid this fashion faux pas” or “How to wear this if you are a certain body type” or “Do not wear this with that” irritate me just as much as they did the day I wrote that piece.

I must admit that I was guilty of this because I do write fashion pieces for some publications and also did the “do’s and don’ts” articles but have given that up for a while now because it is something I am so against!

I am all for tips, tips are good and can genuinely help but when it becomes a rule, then we are heading into irritation territory. Irritation because they are so contradictory to what fashion is supposed to be about – self expression. Am I not right in saying that only you know yourself therefore you know what you like and what you don’t, you know how you would like to wear things, you know what suits your body, despite being told that if you are an apple shape you must NOT wear this?

It becomes even worse when the article is for “plus size” people because apparently there are even more rules for ladies with bigger curves, a larger bust or a good set of “boude”.

It does not make you any less of a “fashionista” for not following the rules now does it? In fact, it makes you interesting because if I see you in the crowd colour blocking with six different colours rather than two or three, I am going to notice you and you are going to be interesting.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that to love fashion or be fashionable you must be eccentric and out there but perhaps you shouldn’t follow all those irritating rules because an appreciation of fashion is an appreciation of a form of art and art should not be copied, it should be created so YOU have to create your style.

Forgive me for being a grouch but I am bored to death of the fashion content we are given, I am tired of the stupid rules and I am over the judgment.

My SAFW picks

It just so happens that two of my favourite collections from the SAFW catwalk are by Durban designers. Hanrie Lues and Thembeka Yadah both designed ranges that excited me and that targeted the different sides of my personal style.

Hanrie Lues is a firm favourite of mine because we both share a love of vintage and classic inspired clothing. Her use of textures was superb and the colour palette of this collection was on point.

*click on pics to enlarge*

This was the stand out piece for me (because I love maxi skirts and what better way to compliment it with some knit) I will definitely be taking inspiration from this for A/W 2015.

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On the other hand, we have Thembeka Yadah’s range which was bold, eccentric and printastic. Of course this spoke to the print queen in me.

I must have this!

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These picks are based on my personal style and what I would love to be wearing in A/W15. There were many great collections which the experts will tell you all about :)

*Image source: SDR